Family Stories (Part 3) Bud and Elmer

These are Mom's recollections on her fifth and sixth-oldest siblings, Bud and Elmer.

Her write-up on her brother Elmer has another version of that great story about how Elmer and his wife got together partially because of Mom. Bud's story has some new anecdotes about Mom seeing peacocks, Bud helping her ride a small horse.

The photo is of Bud and Elmer in the service in Japan in 1953. The photo was sent to Mom in a stack of photos by Elmer's wife Peggy last year. The photo is referenced in Mom's story about Bud.

(Sis and Vern | Loren and Bernice | Hun and Nick | Terry and Dard | Greg, Karon and Mickey)

Next comes Melvin, or "Bud." He would help Mom take me to my doctors appointments. He could carry me with no problem at all. I stayed at their house often. One time, when Bud was working with this trucking company, and lived inside the compound, I was so excited for us because his boss had peacocks on the property. We never seen peacocks up close.

Of all the boys, he was the one that visited with me. He always made me feel important. After he got the chance, he bought his farm. He had a small horse for his kids to ride. Well, he helped me ride the horse. I was scared to death. The horse would move unevenly, so it scared me.

Bud also gave me my first big truck ride. We drove down into the place to deliver a load of cattle. That was very interesting. I love to see how things get done.

Bud and his wife both love to dance. They love polkas, etc. It is fun to watch them dance. It gives you a felling of 'gosh, that looks like fun.' I love music so dancing would be wonderful. Well, if I can't do it, I can at least watch it.

Bud was in the service for a time. At that time, we had the draft, so the next brother Elmer was there at the same time. They met in Japan on R&R. They sent a picture home. They looked so handsome in their uniforms.

Bud came home shortly after that. Elmer stayed in Korea for several years.

Elmer was next. He was and still is quite a jokester. He worked in a lumber yard when he graduated high school. He drove a yellow Henry J car and it was bright. About this time, I was about 5 years old. I was still unable to walk. (more on that later). My aunt Noree, Mom's sister, thought I needed some pen pals. She put my name in the "Dakota Farmer" as a young lady who needed pen pals. It also appeared in the "Montana Farmer." I received letters, cards and pretty handkerchiefs from lots of people. My sister Alice recorded all the names in a small book. I still have the book, but not the cards, etc.

There was one card from a young girl from Montana. She was about the same age as Alice, so she started a correspondence. The two became friends.

It was summer and Alice talked Mom into letting her go out to meet her. I don't know how that happened or how she let them go. Alice, Elmer and Loren drove out to Big Horn, Montana, before Interstates. I have once driven out there and this is with Interstate driving. Her name was Peggy. She had red hair and lived on a ranch where the driveway was 5 miles long. It was truly a ranch log cabin. She lived with her dad and three younger brothers. All really good people.

She came back home with them. To make a long story short, Peggy fell in love with our family and she married Elmer. That was my version. I love her, we all love her. She stayed with us sometimes when Elmer was drafted. He was in Korea in the Army. He was close to the front lines. I didn't get much detail, as I was too "small."

We eventually met all of Peggy's family. Her dad was a jokester also, so he fit right in with Elmer. It was so fun to see the two of them together. I never got out to Montana until years later.

Elmer came home and Peggy and Elmer married in January, in Montana. They came home for a reception of our relatives. In South Dakota, you don't plan anything in the middle of winter. There was a huge blizzard, so only a few of Elmer's buddies came and they had a poker party. That is all I remember, I probably was sent to bed.

Elmer and Peggy moved several different places, including Iowa. They have eight children, many grandchildren. ...

They are both retired. Elmer has a "huge" garden and Peggy cans enough for all winter. With all his building experience, he had this real little house and he added on several times, including a very big living room with a real working fireplace and a huge master bedroom, remodeled the kids bedrooms, bunks built into the wall.

Connie, July 2011

Family Stories (Part 2) Loren and Bernice

Part two of Mom's family stories. This one covers the third and fourth in line of the 14 siblings, Loren and Bernice.

Some of Mom's accounts of her siblings stop abruptly. Mom wrote them longhand in a notebook, using about two or three pages each. Of particular note in these two is the account of her sister Bernice. Mom credits watching her with likely starting Mom's love for sewing.

The first photo is of Bernice, left, and sister Karon, right. The second photo is of Mom's brother Loren. Both are from a set of pictures an aunt sent to Mom last year.

(Sis and Vern | Bud and Elmer | Hun and Nick | Terry and Dard | Greg, Karon and Mickey)


My brother Loren. He had a real bad limp and bowed in his leg. I was told that he was working in the field with horse and plow and was dragged. He was too ornery to listen to the doctor so he walked on it too soon and the plate set to heal his leg broke so he had this bowed out leg limp. I'm sure on some days he had a lot of pain.

Lorney, or Curley as many people called him, was my godfather. When I was small, I was a little afraid of him. He married Dorothy and they moved to a farm not too far from us. Loren did a lot for Dad as far as farming goes. They shared equipment because when Dad started farming, they still used horses. As far as I know, he could drive tractor but there was a lot of kids to do the driving.

Eventually when Dad bought this new place a few miles from the home place, Mom and Dad, two of my sisters moved in this house and Loren and family moved in the neighboring farm with all the farming business. We still had chickens for a while.

We had to call on Loren and Dorothy a lot. In fact, when I had my back surgery, I was laid up on my back for six months. Mom had her stroke. I was able to reach the phone and call Lorney. He came right over and called the doctor and got someone to take care of me. Some of this is a blur.

Mom was admitted and one of my sisters took me to her house on the couch.

Next came Bernice. She primarily kept the house and helped Mom a lot. She did a lot of sewing for us all. I was up to the table watching her cut out and then sew together. I was fascinated. I am sure that is what influenced me in my sewing. She always said she raised us as Mom was always doing the chicken chores.

Over the years, she still fascinated me by the things she made. She made most of her girls' wedding dresses, etc.

She married around 1950 and moved away. Her husband Verlyn was in the lumber yard business in Minnesota. Soon they moved closer. They had a house connected to the lumberyard in Colman. One time I went to visit because she was making me a coat I think. I took the little kids out to play in the sandbox, which was right in the middle of the lumber yard. We had fun. Finally, they moved to Waverly, Iowa.

In Iowa, they moved into a big two-story house to accommodate their growing family. Eventually, they had eight children, with names that all began with "R". All the kids attended the same school.

Over the years, they made a lot of improvements to the house.

Mom, July 2011

Family Stories (Part 1) Sis and Vern

Mom starts a few of he stories talking about her large family, that she was the 13th of 14 children. In this set of stories, she proceeded to write brief recollections of each of her siblings, all written longhand in a notebook.

In this section, she writes about her two oldest siblings, Sis and Vern. She also writes briefly about her first memory, though she crossed that out, apparently making a false start. I've included it here anyway.

The photo is another from my parents' wedding day, with members of my Mom's large family.

(Loren and Bernice | Bud and Elmer | Hun and Nick | Terry and Dard | Greg, Karon and Mickey)

My first memory is when I was around 2 years old. ... I remember peering in this basket and seeing a baby. There were lots of people around.

Then no memory until later. Seems like everyone left in the morning except my sister Karon, a year and a half older and the baby, who is 2, who we call Mickey. The three of us always play together.

Then the rest come home. I happen to number 13 in the family of 14. Hey, someone has to be 13.

My sister Vera (we call her Darla or Dard) 10, then brother Gary or Gregory, 11. He was always good looking. He is next to Karon, 12.

From Dard, then is Terry, 9, and Nick (who is deaf), 8. My sister Alice is 7 (we also call her Hon). Keep going. Elmer #6, Melvin (we call Bud), 5, Bernice is #4 (we call her Toots). Two more boys, Loren, #3, and Vernon, #2. Dolores #1 (we call Sis) tops the list. There is nearly 20 years from Dolores to Mickey.

First I will write stories about each one.

Dolores, we call Sis, was away at college when I was born. Then she got a teaching job at school for the deaf in Sioux Falls. I truly don't remember distinctly until I was about 3 or 4. She came home on weekends to help clean the house. I just remember her when she made everyone help. I was kind of afraid of her.

In the summer time she traveled with some friends. She would tell us some about her adventures. I remember vaguely some of them. She told us about a church she went to that during the service there was an explosion within the church. Most of the church fell, but Father finished Mass. She was not hurt, but I guess there were several that were. She wasn't talking to me, but several of the family more her age.

She met this young man in Sioux Falls. He was a farmer even though that is where she came from. His name was Henry ... the oldest of 5. He had a brother in the service and my sister Alice began corresponding to Henry's brother. Joseph was home on furlough and they dated. So as he returned to the military, we found out that Sis got a ring from Henry.

She started to plan her wedding when Joseph proposed to Alice by mail. They planned a double wedding. If Joseph didn't make it home, that is OK, as the family on each side is the same. He did make it home and near as I can remember, it was a beautiful wedding.

Years later, Darla (Vera) met the third brother, Bernard, and married. All three have large families.

As everyone gets older, I must have matured because in the past several years, we have had fun together with nice visits. I don't get home as often as I'd like, but I try to write.

I have gotten to be good friends with Dolores, the sister I was a little afraid of. Maybe since I left home and married, I have become on their level of maturity. Even the men talk to me as an adult. Maybe I didn't give them a chance.

Next we have Vern. He was overseas in World War II. While in Berlin, he met and fell in love with a young lady, Hildaguard. She could not believe that Vern's mom had just had a new baby. That was my younger sister, Maxine.

When Vern was discharged and ready to return home, he started proceeding to bring his "wife to be" home. I don't know the details, but when I was helping Mom sort through paperwork in the closet, I came across a cancelled check written for $2,000. Mom said it was for transportation to bring Hilla home. I don't really remember the wedding. I do remember when she came home. She spoke English with a strong German brogue. They moved to a farm north of us.

Connie, July 2011

I Said Eastern Iowa

I've reordered this story a bit, putting the top section at the bottom. The top section covers some of the same ground as an early story from Mom, the one that tells of her mother's passing.

I still wanted to include this version, written longhand in August 2011, but start here where the last story ended. This tells of how Mom left home and arrived in Iowa and met my father. The photo is from where the story ends, my parents' wedding day.
Incidentally, after Mom's passing in December, I asked my father to tell me the story of how they met. His version has Mom going up to him at the get-together. Mom's version here, which I came across later, has Dad going up to her. On who went up to who, I think I believe Mom.

After getting through the six months, I went home again. I cooked. I cleaned. I did everything I was supposed to do, but, of course, I was not happy. I couldn't take it with Dad and me alone.

I called Sioux Falls to vocational rehab. They sent someone out and soon I was signed up for a vocational college in Rapid City.

I signed up for a medical secretary course. It was interesting and fun. I got a room in the dorm so it was two blocks away, which was OK in the summer.

Classes were interesting. Working with their counselor, she asked me where I wanted to live. I said Eastern Iowa, as my sister lived there. She gave me appointments at the University of Iowa and Mercy Hospital in Iowa City, Iowa. My niece helped me get into Mercy Hospital for the interview, after a long ride from Rapid City by bus to Waverly, Iowa.

The interview went great. I got the job on the spot. We looked for an apartment within walking distance. I started working in December of 1971.

By spring, I bought a used car. My brother-in-law had hand controls installed and took me to a parking lot to drive around a bit. It felt good. ...

My apartment was a one-room, for my dog Sally and I. I needed to branch out a bit and check out apartments.

I found the first level of a house, someone lived upstairs. It was about a mile from the hospital. I was secretary in the nursing administration office. I loved meeting new people.

One lady across the hall at work got to talking about meeting people. She got me in touch with a singles group. While I felt a little strange, I still went. There were a lot of people there. None of them were dating material. "Oh, well," guess I wasn't surprised. I did meet a lot of new friends at the group. I was in this group for a year or so.

One Sunday afternoon the club was at a picnic of sorts. I brought my dog Sally. She loved to go with me, especially when I was outside.

This young man came up and started to talk with me and Sally. His name was Steve ... He said he thought when I talked about Sally, it was my daughter. Either way, it was OK with him.

We saw each other every day after that. He worked at the university hospital in Central Sterilizing. We picked out rings by New Years. ... We married July 5, 1975.

---
The start of this story.

After high school, I stayed home a couple of years and tried to build up my sewing business.

I went to the doctor in Sioux Falls for a routine appointment. He took an X-Ray of my back. My back is an "S" shape. I had worn a body cast for years. He said it was time to have this back surgery. It is called a Harrington Rod. A long rod is positioned in your back along the spine and a short one positioned on the S part. Now another cast. He said it would take six months or it could take longer to heal.

I was able to go home. Mom rented a hospital bed. I insisted on this bed being set in the living room. I also insisted on having the phone and stand moved to the head of my bed, so I can answer and help her a little. God was with us.

Approximately three or four weeks into this "confinement," Mom was taking my dishes back and dropped them.

"Are you OK, Mom?" I said.

"I was not convinced. I picked up the phone and called my brother who lived a quarter mile across the field.

He came right over, along with his wife Dorothy. She packed a few things for Mom. Loren called the doctor and started to get her ready. Lorney also called Vera to come to take me home.

While all these arrangements were made, I began crying. Mom did so much for me and all of us.

Vera arrived, just as Loren was leaving, and Dad came home. They both tried to tell Dad what happened. I didn't hear all of that. That is OK, as I was thinking, crying, and praying.

Connie, Aug. 20, 2011

We Never Thought About That

This is one of those stories of Mom's that I'd never heard before reading it. It's a story of kids getting a little too carried away with their toys and not thinking of the consequences, a story I'm sure many people have.

Mom wrote it down last year longhand. She made a couple changes and corrections, especially to the first part. I think I got them. The photo is of mom and her sister Mickey, around the time when this story would have taken place.

Summer was still busy. The men were in the field cutting grain. With a binder they put the grain into bundles., which lay on the ground until a couple of people came along to put them up into shocks, about 6 to bundle for a shock. Two people could set one shock together quickly, or my big brothers could do one quickly. Then they set in the field a day or so to dry.

We had the thrashing machine for the grain to go into to separate the kernels of grain from the shaft, grain in the wagon and shaft stay in the row. It has to be dry before going into the machine. Several neighbors would get together and share the work. When we were done thrashing, the machine and men would move to the next place. The women needed to go too, as they needed to make lunch. Rarely we got to go, unless they had younger kids.

One summer, a little girl named Marilyn came along to our house. Her parents were here working. She was between Mickey and me in age and very adventurous. The three of us went outside with our dolls. They had clothes on as we were taking them to the doctor's office.

Marilyn said, "Mine was in an accident" as she poked her doll with a screw driver to show her sores.

Mickey ran into the house to get some tape. Of course, we has to fix the sore. She poked several of the dolls and we taped them up. We had fun. Soon, it was time for them to leave.

We picked up all our toys and went in the house. Mom took one look at the dolls with tape on and soon realized what happened. Mom says, "Well, I hope you are happy with it because we weren't getting any new ones." Course, we never thought about that. Mom and the women had made two big dishpans full of sandwiches.

It was fun having Marilyn here anyway, even if we got in trouble.

Connie, 2011

Hemming A Skirt Is Easy

In addition to everything else Mom did, she also often taught sewing classes through the local college. Mom was always sewing something for someone. In this story, written for a 1992 writing class, Mom basically tells how to hem a skirt.

The only thing odd about the story, is it's premised on Mom buying a skirt. I can't remember Mom ever actually buying a skirt, or anything else for that matter. She always made everything. The photo is of Mom working at her sewing machine in her sewing room in 2004.

A sale! Wow! This is a good price for a well-constructed skirt. I have many blouses and sweaters to match this wonderful soft color. Oh my, it's too long, but I can't beat this price so I will have to hem it. Hemming a skirt is easy, if you follow these simple steps: marking and cutting to the correct length, overcasting the edge, pinning and sewing, then pressing. Because I'm so short everything I buy is too long, so hemming has become a second nature to me.

Once at home, I try the skirt on. This time, I pin the hem where I want it, so I can cut it off. This color is unusual, so it will be difficult to find thread to match. To solve this problem, take the hem, which I have just cut off, and find the end thread. It should pull off in one long piece. Wind the thread on anything you have handy: a piece of cardboard, a pen, an empty spool. There is more than enough thread to do the hand work.

Next, I take the skirt to the sewing machine or serger. Put on the color of thread that matches best, as this part will not show, and overcast the edge (which was just cut off) of the skirt with a zig zag stitch. This will keep the edge from raveling.

After pinning the skirt in place, I thread my needle with some of the thread from the original hem that I wound on the spool. Use a single thread and knot one end. Starting at a seam, pull up the needle from the bottom so the knot is inside the hem. Make a small stitch in the main part of the skirt then back into the hem at almost the same spot. I make about a half-inch stretch of thread inside of the hem; to make sure that most of the length of thread is inside of the hem. Again I take the small stitch in the body of the skirt. I continue in this manner around the skirt, keeping as much of the work inside the hem as possible. Reinforce at all seems by taking several stitches at the seam as no one sees that. When I take the smallest stitch in the skirt body nothing will show on the outside.

The final step is the pressing. I use a steam iron, with the heat set to match the fabric, and test a corner. I steam press the rest of the hem. Now I can wear my sale skirt, altered to fit me. I feel good for my investment both in money and time.

Connie, April 20, 1992

By the Hot Stove

Some of these stories from Mom's writing classes have notes on them from the teacher. I've basically focused on what Mom wrote, skipping over the comments. This story was apparently the result of an assignment to write a scene.

The notes from the instructor indicate the teacher believed this story didn't really fit that mold. But it's still a good portrait of the story's subject, Mom's mother, Elizabeth. The photo is Mom's mother with Mom's brother Elmer.

She stood by the hot stove, a long spatula in her hand watching the newly poured pancake batter bubble and sizzle on the hot skillet. Her huge stomach nearly touching the hot stove, and even with her short stature was able to see all the happenings in the pan. Always at the precise time she flipped the pancakes, again they splattered and rose in the hot grease. The cakes were never the perfectly round ones you see in the TV commercials or in magazine ads, but they were the best. The batter was made from sour milk, flour, eggs, with a certain magic touch from my mom. They turned out light and lacy around the edge, which became nice and crisp. Irregular in size, they managed to satisfy everyone's palate.

She was master of her kitchen, a simple cook but the things that came from that kitchen were so wonderful. A farmer's wife with many children, simply dressed in a faded cotton house dress and apron which covered her stomach. No matter the quantity of food produced, there seemed to be room for one or two more to sit down at the table to eat. If you came at meal time, you sat down and ate with us. She never seemed to be upset at someone just dropping by.

Many mornings were spent over a huge pan of bread dough, mixing the yeast into the flower and whatever. It looked like some sort of slop to be sent to the hogs. But with careful kneading and hours setting to rise by the warm fire, then kneading again, it was transformed into wonderful loaves of bread. She rarely baked less than a dozen loaves in order to feed the multitudes of hard working family members.

Most of her married life was spent in this kitchen. In the beginning, without electricity, she cooked over a wood-burning stove. It was huge and black and heated the kitchen in the winter and summer. We all had strict instruction to stay away from this stove. More in fear of her wrath, than the stove itself, we did. The old cook stove gave way to what we called a combination stove. It had wood burning capabilities on one side and electric on the other. The wood burning side was used in winter both to heat the kitchen and keep water warm. It also burned a lot of trash that would have to be disposed of another way. Soon, however, even this gave way to an electric stove. The freezer was a real luxury for Mom. Now she could preserve her meat without smoking it in the smoke house.

My dad towered over her by at least 15 inches, but Mom ruled the house. She had a quiet way of letting you know when she was displeased with something, and that was the time to correct your behavior. Through it all, she taught us to be independent, hard working adults, who could survive in this world.

Connie, Feb. 10, 1993